Sacrilegion

Only when I'm gone
Can I find me
Engulfed in flame
Extinguished never
Move to flicker
Waver shift and wobble
Desire for you
Shimmers under my skin,
My shattered heart
Thrown away
Stabbed it dead
Flicker to inferno
Inner scream pours forth
Gentle wind then soothes
Flowering in the shell
A sacred heart
That they can't touch
Dreams of a beauty
They cannot grasp.

© Christina Nabity
Written March 25, 2003

This is just one of those goth like poems I wrote during a bit of madness. Madness, it tried me on like a hat a few times for sure. Only way to find out just how sane I truly am, which much to my relief, is as sane as a person gets.

Hard But Softly

Lulling me to sleep
I hear his voice still
So many questions
So many tears
Was it love or ego?
This will never leave me
By stigmata I now am marked-
She did something wrong
But doesn't know how,
Crying hard but softly
This will never leave me
I hear his voice so strong
Evidence to suggest it's not
All some twisted fantasy
But they'll never see
They'll never believe;
Can I sleep some more?

© Christina Nabity
Written: October 20, 2003.

This was not about someone I knew & there's a rather complicated story behind this, one I don't like to talk about. I submitted this to poetry.com in September 2005, apparently they published it in a book of poetry and recorded it on a CD as well, that was my understanding according to the mail they sent me. This was before Lulu acquired that site, I do believe. So woohoo this poem made me a published author! Only thing I ever submitted for publishing so far, too.

Already Been

I am so misplaced in this
Ruining me in ways you'll never know
I return yet again
All reasoning lost
My emptiness fed upon
A tiny sliver of hope
And my skin does peel,
Traveling where I've already been
And now they tell me to kneel
Somehow this gives me power
Sinister strength gurgling below the surface